Corazon de Swiss

May 21, 2007

Water water everywhere and not a drop to drink.

Filed under: Ringwatch 2007 — by corazondeswiss @ 8:56 pm

I’m getting a bit melancholy because my birthday is rapidly approaching. I am hoping that this one will be better than last year.  Last year I cried.  Twice.  Once because I hated the birthday gift my grandmother sent me.  Once because I was sad about the fact that I spent the evening out with a couple of people I didn’t know (and one I did and is one of my favorite people).  And because it was just another reminder of what I didn’t have.  It also didn’t help that my best friend had her first baby 2 days before my birthday and my brother was expecting his first baby only 3 months later.  That sort of compounded it all for me. 
I’m also a bit melancholy from attending the employee picnic at the waterpark.  All the young happy families playing in the kiddie area, the couples walking by holding hands. And I was alone.  Which is one of the reasons I sometimes stay home from these events.  Its hard. 
I guess my birthday’s impending arrival brings it all back for me- the timeline I had figured out for myself. I certainly thought that CP and I would be married by now.  And enjoying our newlywed status for a couple of years before we started a family.  But every day, week, month, year changes that.  I know, I know a timeline is a stupid idea.  Obviously I am a shining example of how that totally doesn’t work.  And it seems that around this time, I get blaring reminders of what others have, and I so desperately want. 
Which makes me very very very very very close to providing CP with an ultimatum, which I really don’t want to do.  But I think I am beginning to run out of patience. 

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4 Comments »

  1. This post makes me sad, because I know the feeling. The whole wanting part sucks so, so badly. I think we need to find something else to distract us. Hrm. Ideas?

    Comment by Alyndabear — May 22, 2007 @ 4:03 am |Reply

  2. Sounds good to me. Will work on ideas for distraction for us.

    Comment by corazondeswiss — May 22, 2007 @ 7:39 pm |Reply

  3. Anything but Ebay! I’ll be sad AND poor. 😛

    Comment by Alyndabear — May 23, 2007 @ 5:04 am |Reply

  4. Yeah, birthdays can be hard. Here’s hoping that this one is better than last year.

    And yeah…waiting is HARD!

    Comment by Isabel — May 23, 2007 @ 8:44 am |Reply


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